Whiskey Lullaby
by twilighters-anonymous
Summary: Bella leaves Edward and spends her whole life trying to drink his memory away. Written for TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest


**This was my entry to TLS Lyrics and Lemons contest. It didn't win anything, but I really enjoyed writing it. I've wanted to write this for a while, but never got around to it. This contest gave me the little push to write it, so I hope you enjoy!**

**Read the other entries here: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2942359/**

**And, see the winners here: http:/www(dot)tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**Song: "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss. Link to video: ****http:/www****(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=IZbN_nmxAGk**

**Rating: M**

**Word Count: 1,601**

**Pairing: Edward and Bella**

**Summary: Bella leaves Edward and spends her whole life trying to drink his memory away.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss own "Whiskey Lullaby".**

"_Edward, sweetheart, we have to get up," Bella whispered, gently reaching behind her to run her fingers through his tousled hair._

"_Mmm…Bella," he sighed, snuggling into her, "just a few more minutes,"_

_His arms tightened around her as she relented. _Just a few more minutes couldn't hurt, s_he thought to herself. She considered dozing off, but decided against it when she felt Edward's warm breath on her neck. He had found that little nook he liked to nuzzle into – that place between her neck and shoulder where his head fit perfectly. How could she fall asleep when this reality was so much better than any dream she could ever have? _

Bella was jerked awake as the plane she was on encountered some turbulence. She sighed as she realized it had all been a dream. A blissfully, pain free dream. For the past eight years, Bella had only had two types of dreams. There were dreams like the one she'd just had, where she was happy and still with Edward. Then, there were the other dreams. Well, actually it was only one dream that kept coming back to haunt her. In this dream, she relived her last day with Edward – the day she left him. Over and over, she watched as she told him she was leaving. She watched as she broke his heart. She watched as she put him out, like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.

_Bella stared at the letter in her hand. She read it through for the thousandth time. She was still standing in the kitchen, the letter in her hand, when Edward walked through the front door._

_He walked into the kitchen and froze at what he saw. Standing in the middle of the room was Bella, her face tearstained, with a piece of paper in her hands and a suitcase at her feet. _

"_What," he stopped and cleared his throat, then continued, "What's going on, Bella?"_

"_I'm leaving, Edward," she whispered. _

"_Yeah, I can see that, but why?" Edward was confused; he thought their life together was going great. Bella was a successful journalist for one of the best papers in Seattle, and Edward was on his way to becoming the youngest Chief of Surgery at the local hospital. This couldn't be happening. They had less than three months until their wedding. _It's just cold feet_, Edward thought, _she doesn't mean it_._

_Bella handed him the letter in her hands as an answer to his question. He quickly read its contents. He couldn't believe it, it was a letter from the _New York Times_. They had seen some of her articles and had a position open up. Bella had always dreamed of writing for the _New York Times.

"_So that's it?" Edward asked angrily. "I don't get a say in any of this? You're leaving, just like that?"_

"_Edward, this is what I've always wanted," she whispered._

"_I thought I was what you've always wanted. What happened to that?"_

"_I have to do it. If I don't, I'll always wonder what if. You don't deserve that, Edward. You deserve someone who knows inexplicably that this is where she belongs. That's not me."_

"_Fine, then just leave. Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Don't worry about the wedding either, I'll let everyone know that it's off. I'll tell them all that it's my fault, that I wasn't enough. That I didn't give you enough. I'll tell them all that it was my fucking fault." The more he talked, the angrier he got. "I'll tell them that I couldn't make you stay, that I couldn't give you the life you wanted. Which is true – right, Bella? You never wanted this, you never wanted this life. You've always hated this town. Just like your mother. She left you and Charlie, and now you're doing the same to me." He knew it was a low blow, bringing her mother into this, but he was willing to do anything – to say anything – if it meant she would stay. _

_Fresh tears were falling down Bella's cheeks at Edward's words. He began to plead with her. "Please, Bella. I'll give you whatever you want, just stay. Please." He took her into his arms and kissed her, willing her to stay with him. Willing their love to be enough. "Please, Bella, please," he whispered against her lips. He wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her into their bedroom. Bella tangled her fingers in his hair, grasping the soft tendrils tightly. He placed her on the bed and left her lips to pull off her shirt. The rest of their clothes quickly followed. _

_He trailed his fingers down to her wet folds and plunged one finger inside of her, causing her back to arch of the bed and a loud moan to escape her mouth as he began pumping his fingers._

_Once he was sure she was ready for him, he pulled his fingers out and quickly thrust himself inside of her warm center. He began an erratic pace that left both of them panting for more. Her moans quickly grew louder and all too soon she was flying into oblivion. As she came down from her high, Edward noticed a single tear falling down her cheek. He looked into her eyes and saw the pain there. She was leaving him. He knew now that no matter what he did, he couldn't stop her. He couldn't keep her here with him. _

_He slowed his pace, realizing that this might be the last time they were together like this. He rested his forehead on hers as he slowly pulled out, only to push back inside of her. He savored the feel of her skin as she clutched his body closer to hers. He ran his fingers over every bit of skin he could reach, committing everything to memory – how the moon reflected off her pale skin, how she smelled, how her lips felt against his…everything about her in that moment._

_All too soon, he felt her walls tighten around him as she reached her climax. He memorized the look on her face as she came apart in his arms. Although he wanted to stay like this forever, he soon couldn't hold back any longer. After a few more thrusts, he came inside of her._

_The next morning, Bella quietly pulled herself out of Edward's warm embrace. After dressing, she left a note on the pillow saying that she was sorry. With one last kiss to his lips, she silently left the room and walked out of his life._

Bella spotted her father as she entered the airport terminal. He looked more tired than usual, although he couldn't look any worse than she did. Since leaving Edward, Bella had lost several pounds; her eyes looked sunken in her face and had lost the shine they once held.

Her father greeted her with a warm hug. "Bella, I'm so happy to see you. I wish it were under better circumstances though." She hugged him back and hoped that he couldn't smell the whiskey on her breath.

She let him lead her out of the airport and into his police cruiser. "Bella, are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to, I think everyone would understand."

"I have to, Dad. It's my fault that this has happened."

The next morning, Bella woke up early. Once she had taken a quick shower, she dressed in a sensible black dress and heels. After having breakfast with her father, they headed to the church. Upon arriving, she noticed that most of the town had showed up. People watched her as she and her father made their way inside.

Bella grasped her father's hand tightly as they approached the casket. She couldn't believe the sight before her. Lying in that casket, Edward's body looked so frail. She could tell that he too had lost weight. He no longer had the slight muscle that added definition to his body. She longed to see his bright green eyes, sparkling with happiness, but she knew she never would again.

It was all her fault. She was the reason he was lying in that casket, about to be buried beneath the willow tree.

After Bella left, Edward turned to whiskey to drink his pain away, but he could never get drunk enough to get her off his mind. They found him with his face down in the pillow, with a note that said, _I'll love her 'til I die._

Bella had to get out of there. She couldn't take the pain. She told her father and he let her take his cruiser, saying he would catch a ride from someone.

When she arrived back at the house, Bella quickly found the bottle of whiskey she knew her father kept in the cabinet. She made her way up to her room and crawled into bed with the bottle. She reached for the picture of Edward she still had on her bedside table. Clutching it to her, she took a long pull from the bottle, reveling in the burn as the alcohol slid down her throat. She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger and finally drank away his memory.

As the sun streamed in through the window, Bella's father opened the door to find Bella lying in the bed with her face down in the pillow, clinging to Edward's picture for dear life. The next morning, they laid her next to him beneath the willow, while the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.


End file.
